Not a Dirty Word
Sex is not a dirty thing.
Sex is a powerful thing. It is as powerful as a fire or a wild river. Without a fireplace to contain the flames, or banks to hold back the water's reach, these two essentially good things become destructive forces.
So many people have experienced the burn of sexuality outside of the context for which it was designed. The God of Christianity makes it clear within the Bible that there are boundaries for the expression of sex -
with one person, whom we are in marriage covenant with.
As a single person, desiring to follow the standard of the Bible, I never really considered that the muscle of self-control that I was using to not engage in premarital sexual activity was the very same muscle I now use as a married woman in order to stay faithful to the commitment I've made to my husband. Those years of restraint were not wasted! It actually developed something in me. I say this for the benefit of those who are wondering the purpose of the wait.
Sex is not the problem. Unrestrained sex is the issue.
I have great concern that we have begun to accept a tainted version of sexuality - one riddled with shame, embarrassment, performance and fear.
Inside the bedroom, just like outside of it, God's design was that we would experience respect and safe vulnerability. We should both be free to communicate honestly our needs and expectations. We need to be mutually understanding and submissive, both with an attitude to serve.
We read in the New Testament that God considers the marriage bed a good thing. Undefiled and clean. There can be free expression of our sexuality within marriage and there be no shame attached to it! Sex within marriage is meant to bind two lives together on a regular basis. It is the inside story between husband and wife, with precious memories being experienced and treasured, not disclosed for the world to have access to.
For some who have experienced the sorrow or pain of sexuality outside of it's God-given context, the idea of having whole-hearted intimacy with a marriage partner may seem like a foreign concept. There IS miraculous healing available from God in order to restore the joy. You may have been wounded, but God is near. He is willing and able to heal that wound. You may still have a scar that goes with your story, but God's heart is to eliminate the cycle of pain you have found yourself in!
Let's change our language. Sex was never meant to be a dirty word.
Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. Ever since the beginning of humanity, God designed sex to be an experience where the two would become one. He wisely prescribed sex as the binding experience between one man and one woman in the lifelong commitment of covenantal marriage. Scripture was announcing it to the world long before brain science could confirm it.