Is Sex Just a Physical Thing?
Part 4 of a series, “The Proverbial Tale of Two Women: Wisdom vs. Seduction”
This summer our local church took a deep dive into the biblical book of Proverbs, dissecting various themes. On August 18th, we were honoured to be able to share on chapters 5-8, which hold imperative lessons on matters of sexuality and relationships. As Bryan and I prepared our notes to speak, we recognized that there was more content in those 3 chapters than could possibly be covered in a Sunday morning message. We wanted to dedicate some space here to share some of those biblical insights with you.
The first thing that you need to know as we look into the book of Proverbs, is that this is a poetic book, not a historical recording or prophetic message. In the first portion of Proverbs, you’ll see the literary device of personification; this is when writers assign human characteristics to an object or idea. For instance, in chapter 8, the concept of Wisdom is personified as an honourable Woman who is standing on the street corner, calling out to anyone who wants to find a long, fulfilling life. At the same time, the concept of Seduction is also personified as a Woman - only this time, she is a desperate, conniving voice who will lead strong men to destruction. Of course, both men and women can be led by either wisdom or seduction.
The urgent instruction to readers is clear - be alert. Know the schemes of Seduction. Pursue wisdom. With all of that established, here is Part 4 of a series, “The Proverbial Tale of Two Women: Wisdom vs. Seduction”.
In order to be able to thrive as a follower of Jesus in an overtly sexualized culture, we need to know that these are not spiritually neutral matters. Scripture tells us that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual principalities and dark powers that are contending against us, against humans made in the image of God.
Yes, we have a sinful nature within us, and we certainly have to learn to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” (Romans 13:14 ESV) We also have a very real spiritual enemy that attempts to target us with distorted ideas around sexuality. The forces of spiritual darkness understand even better than most Christians, that if we will compromise in sexual morality, it will cause confusion, shame and wounding in our own soul, in our relationships, in our family and within the church. Considering that the nation is only as strong as the churches within that nation, it makes sense that hell has vested interest in messing with our thoughts about sexual identity and expression. In these past few weeks we’ve been unearthing some of the most common lies and bringing Scriptural truths that we can anchor ourselves to.
For instance the enemy of our soul wants us to believe that God is a cosmic kill joy who puts boundaries around sexual expression to ruin our fun, but the truth is that God created sex for the sake of marital intimacy, mutual pleasure, and the creation of new life. Another lie is that as humans are primarily sexual, and that our greatest fulfillment in life comes from euphoria in the bedroom. The truth is that the richest, most fulfilling relationships are about far more than sexual experiences, and if you are living a celibate lifestyle you can experience great joy and purpose through Jesus!
Today, let’s consider another common belief in our culture. It is the idea that sex is just a physical experience. Scriptures make it clear that human beings are more than just physical beings - we were created as integrated beings, made up of body, soul and spirit, and what we do with one part of our self will affect the other parts of our self.
In making a case for sexual morality, the Apostle Paul lays it out this way in 1 Corinthians 6 in the Message paraphrase: “There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modelled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”
Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. Ever since the beginning of humanity, God designed sex to be an experience where the two would become one. He wisely prescribed sex as the binding experience between one man and one woman in the lifelong commitment of covenantal marriage. Scriptures were announcing it to the world long before brain science could confirm it, but now we know that physically pleasurable sexual experiences release the hormones of oxytocin and dopamine that psychologically and relationally bind participants together.
In a world that attempts to normalize hook-up culture, open marriages and the ingestion of a steady stream of pornographic material, we have to remember that sex is more than a physical act. Proverbs 6 says it this way, “Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?” While in the midst of talking about the wrestle between seduction and wisdom, Proverbs asks these self-evident questions, “Can you hold flames against yourself and not be burned?” In Scripture sexual desire is often likened to fire. It makes sense. Like passion, fire is dynamic, energizing and even powerful. It can be intentionally extinguished or invigorated. In the right context, fire brings great benefit. In a fire pit or fireplace, with reasonable boundaries to keep the sparks contained, it will bring comfort, heat and energy. But in the wrong context, those same flames can bring great destruction, destroying life and leaving heaps of ashes.
For instance, those who have given in to the temptation of adultery and lived through the fall-out of when that sin was discovered, they understand the sting and the scars of sexual sin. And those who were led into the dark, stifling world of a porn addiction through curiosity or the pressure of a friend, understand that these kinds of sexual experiences have a profound impact on us.
To those who have been burned and scarred by sexuality gone wrong, you need to know the fullness of the good news of Jesus. Just as sex is more than a physical experience, our salvation is more than a spiritual experience.
1 Thessalonians 5:23 says, “Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit, soul and body be preserved complete without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Do you see that? The work of the God in our lives does far more than give us a “get out of hell free” card. The saving work of Jesus includes a cleansing, healing power that is renewing and transforming us. Where there were once wounds, there can be peace. Where there are foul, perverse habits and memories, there can be a peaceful lifestyle. Where there are scars and shame, there can be a peaceful testimony. This is the Gospel of Jesus.
There is nothing you have done that cannot be forgiven. There is nothing that has been done against you that cannot be healed.
Isaiah 61:3 tells us that God wants, “To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” If you have been burned by sex and it feels like you’ve been reduced to ashes, with no left-over building materials to pull together a semblance of order, the Lord’s heart is to bring consolation. This is one of the sweetest miracles I’ve witnessed over the years - the depth of healing that the Lord brings us. Bring Him the ashes and talk through your past with Him. You’ll be amazed at His ability to restore.
As a final note, can I just add that if you’ve been believing the lie that what you do in the privacy of your bedroom has no affect on the other aspects of your life, I want to encourage you today to begin searching the Scriptures and seeking counsel from spiritually mature Christians around you to find out what God’s definition of sexual purity is, and how to walk in victory over the temptations of our flesh and the lies within culture. Our journey as disciples of Jesus must include a biblically-rooted sexual ethic, and one aspect of that is the knowledge that sex is more than a physical act.
As we continue to explore lessons found in the book of Proverbs about sexuality, we will unpack 5 commonly believed lies about sexuality and refute them with wisdom. Subscribe to our email newsletter to ensure that you don’t miss any of these lessons!
Read Part 1: The Irreplaceable Parent
Read Part 3: Is Sex the Most Important Thing in Life?
If you’d like to watch the sermon where we first shared these Proverb-lessons, you can find that here.