Bedrooms of the Nations

In December of 1967, Pierre Trudeau, serving as the Justice Minister of Canada, made a bold statement that resonated in the media. "There's no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation."

I'm not here today as a commentary on laws and whether we can establish heartfelt morality through outer restraints, but I would like to focus on his sentiment. The reality is that his statement was representative of a multitude of people, and it was the amplification of an attitude expressed in that generation: 

I don't want anyone to put limitations on my sexual expression. Don't interfere. Don't tell me what I can and cannot do with my body." 

Forty years ago, in a brief window of time, mindsets and norms were radically changed. Many moral traditions were rejected; the formation of relationships, marriages and families got a major renovation. It was a social revolution.

Trudeau made a sweeping statement about government not having the right or responsibility to establish legal code on personal choices regarding sexual encounters. This leads me to ask some two questions:

1. If the government is not to interfere or legislate sexual behaviors, who is supposed to be evaluating the impact of these choices? Is anyone allowed to look objectively at the matter? Were we all supposed to just leave it alone and mind our own business?

2. Now, after forty years of increasing "sexual freedom", how's everyone actually doing? Is there any level of accountability now?

We may legally get to do whatever we want in the privacy of bedrooms, but how's everyone feeling when the night is over?

Does unrestricted desire actually bring us the happiness we hope for? As long as it is two consenting adults? What about the girl who is one day over legal-age-of-consent? 

  What if one of the two consenting adults is breaking vows with someone else? What if there are children who are watching the unfaithfulness? Then does what happens in privacy matter?

What happens in the bedrooms of the nation has a profound affect on the souls of everyone alive. We are deceiving ourselves if we think otherwise.

Are we willing to look in the eyes of young people who lived in the blow-out of what unrestrained sexual expression did to them? To their parents, friends and families?

We are living in an era of rising anxiety, distrust, depression and loneliness. We are self-medicating with every possible vice. We are smothered with insecurities about our external and internal being. Most people are terrified of transparent friendships or committed relationships for fear of rejection or unfaithfulness. There is a decreasing ability to have true intimacy.

Most settle for skin-on-skin encounters. Or perhaps even less risky, eyes-on-skin, on a screen late into the night.

 It's time for a new sexual revolution. It is available for all, but especially as disciples of Christ, we should be dedicating our strength to the obedience of His words. One of my favorite quotes from late antiquity was that of a Roman citizen named Diognetus, commenting on the lifestyle of the newly established religion called "Christianity". First, remember that the Greco-Roman culture was hyper-sexualized, with a societal norm of constant sexual awareness and participation. There were public areas of the cities dedicated to the indulgence of sexual lusts, be it with men, women or children. 

This Roman citizen said in wonder, 

"They share their table with all, but their beds with no one." 

In a hyper-sexualized culture, these early Christians became famous for their incredible arms-open-to-all hospitality mixed with a self-disciplined life that rejected sexual indulgence. They embraced modesty and discretion. Maybe it was that they refused to play the flirtatious games at the work party. Maybe it was that they declined invitations to locations that would set themselves up for temptation. They treated one another with the platonicity of brothers and sisters unless they had entered into marriage covenant with that person. They refused to objectify. They did not demand their own way, or manipulate the vulnerability of others to get what they wanted sexually. 

Fellow Christians, I dream that this would be said of our generation now.

God, our Father in heaven, established boundaries for our sexuality because He knows us better than we know ourselves. Without submission to these boundaries, we are just like preschoolers at a bowl of candy, indulging without restraint until our stomach aches. It may taste good in the moment, but we weren't supposed to make the treat into the main course. Our mouths are stained and we groan in distress because of the violation of our own designs.

When a PART of life (and a valuable one at that!) becomes the whole POINT of life and the forecasted underlying foundation for all happiness, we are set up for disappointment. You were not made just for SEX. You were made for INTIMACY. There is such a difference.

The exciting thing is that the tone of conversation around relationships and sexuality is changing. Sure, there are the loud voices still demanding for unrestrained "rights", but I think that the tide is turning and people can now acknowledge that this giant experiment in human design and relationships has failed us.

Instead of"Don't tell me what to do", I'm hearing more, "Can someone please tell me how to navigate through this area of my life?"

Instead of "Don't interfere", I'm hearing more, "Someone, please care enough to give me some guidance. I don't want the heartbreak I see all around me."

More and more people are raising their voices about the pain that God has healed them from. It has been the mode of God for thousands of years to take the broken pieces of our lives and help us come back together.

You are not an exception to the rule: 

1. We were made to follow in His ways, to live as Jesus lived.We come to whole-hearted living when we embrace that reality.

2. We can't wander so far that we are excluded from God's forgiveness, through what Jesus did on the cross.

3. The power of God can enter our life and give us the desire and ability to do what is right. He walks with us along the path, not scorning our need for help.

In the book of Proverbs, it says that anyone who would like to find wisdom should search for it and "ask aloud" for it. In humility, reach out to God, to key resources, and to people you trust. We cannot find freedom in this area of sexuality taking a passive stance.

Do what you have to do to find true freedom inside AND outside the bedroom.