The ancient writings found in the Biblical book of Proverbs is loaded with practical advice and observations of humanity and how things work. (It has now been divided into 31 chapters, so it really is a simple way to add wisdom to your life, one chapter, one day at a time.)

Today I want to show you something in Proverbs chapter 6; it contains a cryptic passage that on the surface appears to be parents' poetic instruction to their son about not spending your money or strength with prostitutes, but if you'll take another look, suddenly it applies to all of us.

Proverbs 6:23-29

Truth will protect you from immorality
    and from the promiscuity of another man’s wife.
    Your heart won’t be enticed by her flatteries
    or lust over her beauty—
    nor will her suggestive ways conquer you.

Prostitutes reduce a man to poverty,
and the adulteress steals your soul—
For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread,…

…What makes you think that you can sleep with another man’s wife
    and not get caught?
    Do you really think you’ll get away with it?
    Don’t you know it will ruin your life?

Sounds like a heated, messy situation. All those who have dealt with the emotions and thoughts surrounding infidelity in relationships would certainly relate.

Now, suddenly in verse 30, the author jumps topic and appears to begin talking about robbery.

First prostitution. Now, thieves.

Proverbs 6:30-31

You can almost excuse a thief if he steals to feed his own family.

But if he’s caught, he still has to pay back what he stole sevenfold;
his punishment and fine will cost him greatly.

Now either the writer was illogical in his presentation, or perhaps he is giving us a clue as to the motivation of prostitution.

Hunger.

As he explains, no one despises the one who steals to satisfy hunger, but it doesn't eliminate the consequences for them.

So here is the very heart of prostitution: "reducing a someONE to a someTHING."

The essence of harlotry is using someone to fill your appetite.

Some, trapped in economical poverty, resort to prostitution to keep food in the belly. I guarantee that no one dreams of this occupation when they are young, yet people all over the world are trapped. They sell their body to stay alive.

Some, caught in a metaphorical poverty, are starving for affirmation and identity and so will do whatever they can to stave off the hunger pains. Did you see that phrase?

“For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread”

Too often, because of our drive for affection or affirmation, we begin to turn the people around us into "loaves of bread".

1. Feeling the need to perform in order to avoid rejection.

If you are in a friendship or relationship, you should never feel like your personal boundaries or convictions are being violated. If someone is pushing you to wear certain clothing, talk a certain way, or engage in a sexual behaviour that makes you feel uncomfortable, this is NOT love. You are a person, not a performer. Sometimes we do it to ourselves, putting on a front in the hopes of impressing or gaining attention. Take a moment and ask yourself, “Is there anything I do or say that is actually just me forfeiting my integrity?”

“Am I selling my convictions in order to be accepted?”

2. Feeling the need to be permanently sexy.

For centuries, people have used their bodies and behavior to gain the glances and affirmation of other men and women. They keep sexual tension in nearly all their relationships, because the chemistry feels powerful. Jokes, comments, flirtatious touches make it clear that it is always on their mind because in our day, people think that "sexy" is the ultimate compliment. The trouble is, after not too long, we forget how to interact with each other in any other way and we lose the other dimensions of our personhood.

Yes, both men and women are sexual beings, but we also need to be free to be relational, with complex emotions and needs. You don’t have to be playing a game 24/7.

Would you like to be able to have friendships with people without sexual tension? It is possible. You can be redefined and discover joyful, platonic interactions with men and women of all ages.

Ask yourself:

“Am I trying to stay sexy in order to be wanted?”

3. Feeling the need to pretend that you are fine, even when you are not.

This is certainly tied in with the other two points. There is something to be said for the ability to shake it off, but there comes a point when we have to drop the facade and admit if abuse, molestation, abortion or infidelity have crushed our hearts.

Not everyone is laughing at the end of a night at the club. Casual hook-ups don’t fulfill us the way beer commercials want us to believe. It takes time to trust again when we’ve been betrayed. People are scared, lonely and hoping for someone to invite them into real intimacy.

You are not weak for feeling pain. Men and women need a safe place where we can tell the truth about our past and pain without fear of judgment.

Ask yourself:

“Am I pretending to be fine to avoid showing my needs, so that people will like me or somehow admire me more?”

You may identify with one or all of these three points, but don't stop at just acknowledging the problem. What we all really want is to not be so very hungry for the approval, affection and pursuit of other people. We know that we'd stay out of a lot of trouble if we could come into interactions and relationships without a growling stomach.

Just like physical hunger, we have a real need to be filled; to be reminded of our identity and value - who we are on the inside. A family and community can certainly fill some of our needs.

But no one on earth can handle the full weight and pressure of another human heart.

There are some needs that only our Creator and Savior can fill. Interestingly enough, when Jesus the Son of God, walked on earth He taught His followers, "I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst." (John 6:35)

Jesus came and gave everything He had in order to set us free from the poverty of soul.

He came to fill us so we would never again have to objectify the people around us, "reducing them to loaves of bread". If you are hungry today, you can literally just pause right now where you’re at and ask Him to fill you. God hears that prayer, and has great love for you.

When you’ve experienced His approval of you, then in an increasing way you won’t rely on the approval of others to sustain you. You will actually be able to love them, instead of reducing them to loaves of bread.

Hungry for Love