Living with a Pure Heart in an Pornographic World
We’ve all had intense situations or moments that we didn’t see coming.
Like when I managed to catapult myself over my hockey stick that had gotten caught in between the ice and the bottom of the other teams net. I had skated full speed behind the net, chasing the other teams’ defensemen who had the puck. As I came around the net, the blade of my stick wedged itself underneath the net and the butt end of the the stick jabbed into my stomach. That’s when momentum took over and I flipped over the stick, landing on my back.
As I laid on the ice in an incredible amount of pain, there was three questions I was asking myself in my head:
“What just happened?”, “How’d I get here?”, and “Why does my stomach hurt?” Now watch as I take this really odd story and connect it to a spiritual reality in true modern day preacher fashion.
It is very clear that we live in a pornographic culture. It’s not just that we have pornography as an option to access, but it is more that pornography has been absorbed into so much of what we see and hear every day. This being the reality, it should be no surprise that you and I face experiences again and again that could be compared to my hockey stick-Cirque de Soliel trick.
We are just going about our lives and we are exposed to a multitude of different avenues that are trying to get us participate in sexual behaviour outside of God’s design for it.
As followers of Jesus, this is in complete opposition to what you deeply want. You want to honour God with your bodies and desires, fighting against the sinful pleasures of this world. That’s who you really are as a Christian.
Yet if you and I were honest there are times when we see things that we know we don’t really want… but also kinda do. There are things you’ve seen that you may have turned away from in the moment, but were unwilling to tell anyone about. That seed of sensuality grew in the secret area of your mind and heart, and before you know it, you begin searching out what once was searching for you.
You end up going places you never thought you would and doing things you never thought you would. You are then left asking the same three questions I asked as I laid on the ice. The answers will empower you to live with a pure heart in an impure world.
#1 - “What just happened?”
In Genesis 4, there is this conversation that the Lord has with Cain. Cain and his brother Abel were asked to bring sacrifices to the Lord. We learn that God was pleased with Abel’s but not Cain’s. Cain is not impressed and is visually upset. In verse 6 God asks Cain why his face is downcast. He goes on to say that if Cain were to bring the same sacrifice that Abel did, he would be accepted. Then in verse 7, he makes this statement to Cain, “Sin is crouching at your door and its desire is to have you, but you should master it.”
So, what just happened? The quick answer - sin is looking for you. Yes, we have an indwelling nature that is sinful, but this story shows us that it is also compared to an animal crouching to devour its prey.
What just happened? Sin tried to take an opportunity to sink its teeth into you. Here is the hopeful truth for us though: the Lord says you should (and therefore CAN) master it by the grace given to us in Christ. This means fighting back and defending your heart and soul from the influence of sin. It means kill or be killed.
#2 - “How’d I get here?”
If we aren’t quick to fight back against sin’s influence, we can end up on our backs filled with shame and guilt. Just like in my hockey story, everything happened too fast for me to respond and I was laid out. The difference is that in our fight against sin, God makes the way of escape available to us, as we read about in 1 Corinthians 10:13.
We do have to be looking for the escape route, and even expecting to need to use it. I would love to never face sexual temptation again in my life, but this isn’t the current state of our world. We live in a fallen world that is increasingly moving down the proverbial river of immorality and perversion. If we are going live pure, we must not be ignorant of the schemes of the enemy.
So, how did you get to this place where you’ve been knocked on your back and have given into sexual temptation? You weren’t prepared. You weren’t prepared to encounter the presence of sin in the world and you weren’t prepared to access God’s way of escape that leads to freedom.
#3 - “Why does my stomach hurt?”
I had never experienced again anything like that day I flipped over my hockey stick. To be real, I’ve never seen or heard of it happening to anyone else. In a similar way, maybe you’ve never heard about how sin can bring such deep levels of shame and guilt. The thing with shame is that it doesn’t want to be exposed, so you find that most people won’t talk about it. We can’t be fooled into thinking that “everyone else is fine” just because they are staying quiet about their sorrow or heart ache.
Sexual sin is extremely potent in its effect in our soul. All sin leads to death of soul, but sexual sin involves you sinning against your own body thus leading to this extra level of shame.
To make the connection here, your “stomach” hurts because you’ve crossed a boundary that God has lovingly put around the gift of sexuality. Sex was created by God, and He is also the designer of the context in which it is meant to function.
Sexual behaviour that is not paired with defined parameters is like building a fire in the middle of your living room and not in the fire place. Because the fire isn’t within its safe and protective context (like a fireplace) it spreads and destroys everything it touches.
Now, here is some good news - Jesus disciplines those whom He loves.
The fact that you feel this gut ache about what has happened and the lines that you crossed, means that God is lovingly disciplining you so that you remember what to do next time and learn to access the way of escape that He promises you.
He doesn’t want you to keep running back to the same behaviours that cause you pain and separate you from Him. He wants you to learn to love obedience and see that His design for you and for the gift of sexuality is best in His context.
That being said, we must also learn to tell the difference between the loving discipline of God and the way the enemy of our soul tries to trap us with condemnation. One way to know the differences is to always remember that the discipline of God leads us to a place where shame will be broken, while condemnation that the enemy uses will always try to keep us from that place.
No matter where you find yourself today, know that God desires for you to experience beauty and wholeness in His design for sexuality. This mean repenting and turning from areas of our life that don’t line up with His Word - the blue print for His design. Know today that He lifts up those who humble themselves and turns ashes into beauty when we bring it to Him.
If you feel His voice of correction today, turn towards Him. Don’t try to fix the problem first or “pay Him back” with diligent service or trying to be good enough. Open your heart to Him and invite Him to purify you again.
This confession is the first step in living with a pure heart in this pornographic world. I know how challenging this can be, so I’ve been working on a free 3 session course called Clearing History. It is all about learning new, Biblical perspective in this area. I share practical tools that have helped me live in freedom and be able to have a healthy marriage.
It will be available free to you in the coming days, and I know it will be a great asset in your life! You can find access to it over on our Resources page.