Dad Jokes, Father Wounds and The Spirit Of Adoption
“ What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?… Nacho Cheese”
“What do sprinters eat before a race?…Nothing, they fast!”
Dad jokes, they have been making you laugh, cry and roll your eyes so hard you pinch something in your neck. There is something very powerful behind the words that we hear, or don’t hear from our dads. I think back at my life and much of the fondest memories I have were connected to words of encouragement from my Dad, yet some of the hardest times of my life were connected to times when I couldn’t hear what I needed to hear. I can only imagine that there are some of you who are reading this right now and are hit with memories just like me. There’s probably a very good chance that you may not even have fond memories at all but just memories of rejection. Before we go any further I want you to know that God knows your past and your upbringing and wants to meet you today with the reality of who He is as the Heavenly Father.
13 Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to John, to be baptized by him. 14 John would have prevented him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?” 15 But Jesus answered him, “Let it be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Then he consented. 16 And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; 17 and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:13-17 (ESV)
There is a lot to be said and discussed around the reasoning behind Jesus being baptized but I want to highlight a very simple aspect of this passage. It is this, before Jesus began His ministry, worked a miracle, healed the sick or raised a dead person He heard the words of His Father, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” This speaks to all of us the need that we have to know our identity in Him. As I said, there is som much to talk about in the reason why Jesus was baptized but one main point is He was living the life we should’ve lived in order to give us the relationship and right standing He had with God the Father. This is what makes the reality of adoption through Christ so impacting. Because Jesus lived the life that we should’ve we now get to enjoy the life Jesus had with the Father.
“In Christ” are two of the most powerful words for us in the Bible. It’s through these two words that so many of the promises and realities of God for our lives come into being. Because of the work that Jesus finished we now are made to be the children of God. This means that God’s heart and love towards us are actually not rooted in us. It’s not rooted in our performance or our ability but it is rooted in the performance and ability of Christ.
God loves you just like He loves Jesus. That may be very hard for you to grasp or accept but that’s the truth of where we stand with God when we are in Christ. Because Jesus lived the life we should have and died the death we deserved we now are free to rightly be called the children of God. Jesus is our Lord but also our Big Brother in the sense that He is the Firstborn of many brethren. We are those brethren.
This is all fine and dandy theologically but we have to be experiencing this practically. The biggest challenge we face as Dads is trying to express to our kids what we aren’t experiencing for ourselves. That is an exercise in futility. If you don’t know where you stand with God and that you are loved deeply by a perfect heavenly Father you will fall into a constant cycle of anger, escaping into secondary realities and won’t exemplify the character of God to your kids. Also, the bonds of attachment won’t ever have enough times to grow. How many kids grow up and say things like, “ I know my Dad loved me but I never seemed to be good enough, or he was always busy, or he always went hunting and never took me along” I’m not saying that you can’t have hobbies or ever be alone but you need to be able to sense when too much is too much. If we as men can open our hearts to the affirming and correcting love of God we are then able to be that for our kids.
Jesus purchased a place for your pain. Jesus purchased the payment for your pain. Maybe your dad wasn’t able to show you the real heart of the Father. Maybe you see so much of your own story in how you are relating to your kids and it frustrates you and also keeps you trapped in that cycle. Today can be the beginning of the change you’re needing. Today can be the day that you encounter the real and authentic love of God as one of His kids. It’s not based on your performance or effort but on the finished work of Jesus.
4 But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. 6 And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.
Galatians 4:4-7 (ESV)
Just like we read before when Jesus was baptized and the voice of God from Heaven declared that Jesus was the Son in whom the Father was well pleased, you can know that as a co-heir with Jesus that you are loved with an everlasting love.
-Bryan Pue